Lately, there’s a lot in my head as I’m closing in on my last days in Germany and nearing my 39th birthday. I feel mostly great about both things, but they are moments when it’s nice to pause and reflect. In the midst of all of this, today, when I looked in the mirror I noticed more white hairs. At this point, they’re coming inpretty steadily, and although I’ve decided to let them stay, I think I’m not totally at peace with that decision. I’m wondering – why? Why do I find white hairs offensive?
Why is there an intuitive judgement that if my hair follicle has shifted from producing a brown or a blondish-colored hair to a white one, then it’s suddenly not good? Why am I focused on trying to appear to be an age that I am not? Why do I resist embracing my age in it’s fullest expression, including the inevitable white hair?
I have decided I won’t color my hair, at least for now, and embrace the way my body is aging, at least on my scalp! I stay active, and fit and make sure to retain muscle and cardio ability by training nearly every day for at least half an hour. This makes me feel clear-headed and strong and ready to tackle whatever comes.
But, the hair, the white hairs, again, why do they bother me? Why is it that on a man, white/grey hair I think is distinguished, but on a woman I think it looks old?
Why do I invest even one ounce of energy looking in the mirror and judging the completely natural evolution of my scalp?
I continue to support myself in deciding to keep my hair natural and not alter the color to perpetuate the notion that I am youthful, when actually, I’m tipping on 40. While I do strive to have a youthful body, I want it to be supported by a wise mind. A mind that occasionally says, hey the right hamstring is tight, let’s take it easy running today. Or a mind that says, calm down, it’s not as bad as you think it is – keep some perspective here!
So, I’ll be a bit optimistic here and say that maybe the white hairs are really coming in now because I’ve achieved some sort of wisdom in my 39’s and my hairs want to show this to the rest of the world. From that perspective, why the heck would I cover it up!?
Basically, I’m looking for some support and wisdoms from the tribe here…how do you accept an aging scalp and the white hairs that follow?
Das Wanderen Bumble Bee 